Welcome to Hearts Knit Together

We have recently been in touch with amazing women across the United States who are struggling with very difficult problems. On another blog we asked women to share their trials. The results were overwhelming. Many women shared that just posting their trial gave them peace and strength. Others were reaching out for advice and comfort.

We decided to create this blog with sister blogs to provide an outlet and forum for women to share their trials and find resources of support. We want women to be able to find others who are having similar trials or who have already gone through them. We believe there is no one right answer to a trial and by bringing everyone together we hope that each person will find something valuable for their situation.

We will create more blogs as needed and look forward to hearing from all of you. Feel free to post anonymously. If you do we ask that you include a number so that others may comment directly to you (for example, anonymous87.  You'll need to select Open ID and then you can type in "anonymous"). We welcome your input and suggestions for further resources and ideas.

Here are 3 of the posts from the original site. Our hearts go out to each one of you and we hope you find some comfort, peace and strength here.

~I must be too overweight...or unhealthy...chemically imbalanced...or something.

I also struggle with the usual feelings of inadequacy as a mother and wife and an over-developed sense of perfectionism. These ridiculous weaknesses, unfortunately, affect my husband and children as well. When this happens, I feel guilty.

~My trial is my son. He brings me so much anger, frustration, hopelessness and heartache that I feel like life would be so much easier without him. SHOCK!!! I know, I'm sure I just freaked some people out to think that I could not want one of my own flesh and blood in my life at many times. That is hard for me to say because I don't think a lot of people understand it. It's a motherly instinct to love and protect our own children, not wish they weren't apart of our lives at times. I struggle with the fact that I don't love him as naturally as my other children, I honestly have to work at it. I don't understand him, I don't get him, I don't relate to him and I don't know why he was sent to me, I feel at times that it was a horrible mistake that he was sent to me because of the feelings that I have for him. These feelings often get discounted by others because they don't understand how I could possibly feel that. If I dare ever breath that I wish he would just go away somehow, they say, "No you don't, you don't really feel that." Well, YES, I DO! But I just don't say anything at all. What mother on this planet would ever admit that they have a child that they wish TOO often, was not apart of their family??? That life would be SO much easier without him? I know he's not going away. He is going to be with me and I need to learn how to love him and raise him well, and I know he will be a trial in my life for a long time. Well, I admited it. Thanks for giving me this chance to actually say those words.

~Our family business has not been as productive in the past 18 months. And so our income is at about 50%. We have used up all our savings, thinking things would get better but now we are in real trouble. We have been living frugally all along, but our income is down so we are not able to meet the bills.

It is still cold here, but we turned off the heat since we can’t pay the bill. My son got sick within a day of this newest economy saving action. Now my baby is getting sick. I sleep with them, just to try and keep them warm. I feel my body heat is all I have to offer. 

My husband has been trying so hard to turn things around, but nothing he does brings in enough money. It is getting him down. He is grumpy, depressed and short with all of us. Our marriage has never been so strained. Sleeping with the kids has not helped that. I feel like everything is falling apart.

The women’s church group had a lunch at a restaurant. I went but could not afford to buy a meal so I just told everyone I was not hungry. But I was…so hungry and the food smelled so good. It made me very sad that I could not tell anyone the real reason. But I can’t for I am embarrassed. 

I do work out of our home so I can be with the kids. I have started applying for jobs outside the home but I have been turned down at every one I have applied for. 

Our big stress right now is taxes are due in three weeks and there is no money for them. I called my dad, who is a multi millionaire (no joke - no exaggeration) and asked him to hire me for some work he needs done. I told him we needed the money for taxes and rent. He said he would think about it while he vacations for 6 weeks in Hawaii. When I hung up the phone I just cried for an hour or so. I hope he has fun lying around on a beach while his grandchildren live off of food storage and shiver under their blankets. Do I sound bitter? 

I just feel so alone. I have prayed and fasted and prayed and fasted and prayed and fasted about this and the answer is… “I know what is going on and it will continue. Have faith and peace.” I guess this is just something we have to go through. I just hope we can survive.

Thanks for asking Jen, it felt good to vent. I always try to treat people as if they are going through a crises, for I know most of us are most of the time.