Giving an A

Michelangelo is often quoted as having said that inside every block of stone or marble dwells a beautiful statue; one need only remove the excess material to reveal the work of art within. If we were to apply this visionary concept to education, it would be pointless to compare one child with another. Instead, all the energy would be focused on chipping away at the stone, getting rid of whatever is in the way of each child's developing skills, mastery, and self-expression. 

We call this practice giving an A. It is an enlivening way of approaching people that promises to transform you as well as them. It is a shift in attitude that makes it possible for you to speak freely about your own thoughts and feelings while, at the same time, you support others to be all they dream of being. The practice of giving an A transports your relationships from the world of measurement into the universe of possibility.

 

An A can be given to anyone in any walk of life-- to a waitress, to your employer, to your mother-in-law, to the members of the opposite team, to your spouse, to your child, and to the other drivers in traffic.  When you give an A you find yourself speaking to people not from a place of measuring how they stack up against your standards, but from a place of respect that gives them room to realize themselves.  Your eye is on the statue within the roughness of the uncut stone. This A is not an expectation to live up to, but a possibility to live into.

(from The Art of Possibility by Rosamund and Benjamin Zander)

What thoughts do you have about this idea?

Blog Email

We have set up an email for this blog.  This way, you can send in something you would like posted on our blog. Since we want it to be as interactive as possible we thought this would be a great way.  You can also just send us ideas to consider.  Our email for this blog is sugarwiseman.hearts@blogger.com

I love Jen's question about family traditions.  They are SO important!  Whether it's having dinner by candlelight whenever you have homemade pizza, sitting in the hallway singing Christmas carols to wake up Mom and Dad on Christmas morning (before looking at the tree and presents!), or eating the hard boiled eggs you hunted Easter morning with toast and cocoa, traditions bring families together.

Now that my Mom has passed away I find myself hanging onto the 1960's cocoa mugs, a candle she had displayed on her dresser, and I have the exact same Christmas albums she had when I was little (Gene Autry and Bing Crosby).  Please share your traditions or tell us some you may want to start!

Traditions?

I always thought traditions in our home would come so naturally...they haven't. So what kinds of traditions do you have in your family?

Welcome to Hearts Knit Together

We have recently been in touch with amazing women across the United States who are struggling with very difficult problems. On another blog we asked women to share their trials. The results were overwhelming. Many women shared that just posting their trial gave them peace and strength. Others were reaching out for advice and comfort.

We decided to create this blog with sister blogs to provide an outlet and forum for women to share their trials and find resources of support. We want women to be able to find others who are having similar trials or who have already gone through them. We believe there is no one right answer to a trial and by bringing everyone together we hope that each person will find something valuable for their situation.

We will create more blogs as needed and look forward to hearing from all of you. Feel free to post anonymously. If you do we ask that you include a number so that others may comment directly to you (for example, anonymous87.  You'll need to select Open ID and then you can type in "anonymous"). We welcome your input and suggestions for further resources and ideas.

Here are 3 of the posts from the original site. Our hearts go out to each one of you and we hope you find some comfort, peace and strength here.

~I must be too overweight...or unhealthy...chemically imbalanced...or something.

I also struggle with the usual feelings of inadequacy as a mother and wife and an over-developed sense of perfectionism. These ridiculous weaknesses, unfortunately, affect my husband and children as well. When this happens, I feel guilty.

~My trial is my son. He brings me so much anger, frustration, hopelessness and heartache that I feel like life would be so much easier without him. SHOCK!!! I know, I'm sure I just freaked some people out to think that I could not want one of my own flesh and blood in my life at many times. That is hard for me to say because I don't think a lot of people understand it. It's a motherly instinct to love and protect our own children, not wish they weren't apart of our lives at times. I struggle with the fact that I don't love him as naturally as my other children, I honestly have to work at it. I don't understand him, I don't get him, I don't relate to him and I don't know why he was sent to me, I feel at times that it was a horrible mistake that he was sent to me because of the feelings that I have for him. These feelings often get discounted by others because they don't understand how I could possibly feel that. If I dare ever breath that I wish he would just go away somehow, they say, "No you don't, you don't really feel that." Well, YES, I DO! But I just don't say anything at all. What mother on this planet would ever admit that they have a child that they wish TOO often, was not apart of their family??? That life would be SO much easier without him? I know he's not going away. He is going to be with me and I need to learn how to love him and raise him well, and I know he will be a trial in my life for a long time. Well, I admited it. Thanks for giving me this chance to actually say those words.

~Our family business has not been as productive in the past 18 months. And so our income is at about 50%. We have used up all our savings, thinking things would get better but now we are in real trouble. We have been living frugally all along, but our income is down so we are not able to meet the bills.

It is still cold here, but we turned off the heat since we can’t pay the bill. My son got sick within a day of this newest economy saving action. Now my baby is getting sick. I sleep with them, just to try and keep them warm. I feel my body heat is all I have to offer. 

My husband has been trying so hard to turn things around, but nothing he does brings in enough money. It is getting him down. He is grumpy, depressed and short with all of us. Our marriage has never been so strained. Sleeping with the kids has not helped that. I feel like everything is falling apart.

The women’s church group had a lunch at a restaurant. I went but could not afford to buy a meal so I just told everyone I was not hungry. But I was…so hungry and the food smelled so good. It made me very sad that I could not tell anyone the real reason. But I can’t for I am embarrassed. 

I do work out of our home so I can be with the kids. I have started applying for jobs outside the home but I have been turned down at every one I have applied for. 

Our big stress right now is taxes are due in three weeks and there is no money for them. I called my dad, who is a multi millionaire (no joke - no exaggeration) and asked him to hire me for some work he needs done. I told him we needed the money for taxes and rent. He said he would think about it while he vacations for 6 weeks in Hawaii. When I hung up the phone I just cried for an hour or so. I hope he has fun lying around on a beach while his grandchildren live off of food storage and shiver under their blankets. Do I sound bitter? 

I just feel so alone. I have prayed and fasted and prayed and fasted and prayed and fasted about this and the answer is… “I know what is going on and it will continue. Have faith and peace.” I guess this is just something we have to go through. I just hope we can survive.

Thanks for asking Jen, it felt good to vent. I always try to treat people as if they are going through a crises, for I know most of us are most of the time.